Yesterday morning, I began with an intense clearing and healing meditation that lasted for the good part of an hour. I felt energetic shifts take place, and I knew something was different. I felt very close to God and to you in those moments. I went about my day. 

In the late afternoon, I was getting ready to prepare some dinner for the kids. I went to grab my phone charger and accidentally smashed my finger again my nightstand. The white opal ring that I bought in Spain last summer during my holiday was on that finger. The ring bent. I thought I had fixed it, but I felt a strange energetic shift in that moment. I went down to the kitchen and looked again to make sure the ring was okay. It wasn't. Something felt 'off', and I knew it. When I went to look again, I noticed that one of the small diamonds was missing. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and sadness began to set in. 

I ran upstairs to look around for the little diamond, but it was nowhere to be found. I immediately checked the box that I received with the purchase of the ring so I could check the website to maybe order a new one. I could've ordered it, but it didn't feel right. The sadness set in a bit further. I went downstairs, made dinner and got the kids situated. They ate, and then I returned up to my room for some moments of solace. I journaled a bit and just sat there, tears falling down my cheeks. I didn't understand why this happened at first, but then I remembered all that was cleansed out during my morning meditation. I sat there on my bed, and I blurted out, "It's over. It's the end." I cried. I didn't know what this meant, and part of me still doesn't. But I know something shifted yesterday, and I felt it deeply in my soul.

After the evening routines, I returned to my bedroom and sat there. I pulled some cards to try and make sense of the situation, but I couldn't. My ego was wanting to have its way. That ring cost me 55 euros last summer. '55' is so significant to me because it's the day you confessed your love for me, and then a year later marked the date in which I founded my practice. The number '5' signifies change. This journey has surely brought forth a whirlwind of changes, and I guess yesterday is another one to add to the list. 

I couldn't sleep at all last night. I went to bed after 1 am because my brain was just 'on', and I just needed to be. I listened to music. Music that I hadn't listened to in a long time because it's some Christian worship songs, and I haven't identified myself as a Christian in about 5 years now. Nonetheless, the lyrics spoke deeply to my soul. I sang and cried and sang some more. I felt a release, and it was so necessary. 

Changes have been taking place nonstop within me and also in my external world. This 'ending' perhaps marks so much that I was carrying. The feeling is bittersweet, but it also feels right. You and I have had this wild love dance for these past years, and my heart and soul have been refined to the core. I am not complaining though because I see it all as a gift from the Universe. But now I feel like our 'ending' has come, at least for now. I feel like I am supposed to just go forward, just me and God, whatever that even means. My heart has this zest to explore, experience and celebrate life in all of its facets, and I plan to do just that in this new year of my life (just having celebrated a birthday recently). 

The ring signifies true love from a past life where it ended differently than we had both hoped or dreamed it would. I know I crushed your heart then because I didn't choose you, and that abandonment wound has been welling up in both of us ever since. I know we've both done so much healing work, and it still continues. I know that the meditation I did yesterday shifted something in our energy field to clear out all pain, deception and betrayal. Maybe that's why the ring had to bend and almost break. Maybe that's why the one tiny diamond fell out, nowhere to be found again. I don't know. Maybe all of this happening marks a shift in a new direction, leaving the old patterns, pain and experiences that no longer serve us behind. 

Either way, it hurts. Either way, it feels weird. But even in the midst of all of that, I feel hopeful and have such an inner peace. I am not worried how it'll all turn out. I am not worried as to how my life will progress. I know that I am divinely carried, protected and supported, as are you. We have what it takes to continue on along this beloved journey, regardless of any outcomes or any of that. We know what we know, and that's all that matters. Destiny has spoken, and she will make herself known once again. I will always believe that. 

Whenever divine timing beckons to her call,
She dances to the rhythm, surrendering all. 
In the grand design of the Universe's grace,
She finds her path, in the right time and place. 

Written on September 6, 2023 | © Jessica Louise Newcomb