Jess Louise: Artist | Creative | Muse
Soul Chronicles: Intimate Expressions
Poetry has always been my jam, for as long as I can remember. Perhaps I’ve related more to it in lyrical form, but it’s been a conduit of personal healing for the majority of my life. Oftentimes, the words would just burst out of me with utter spontaneity whenever I would put pencil to paper, even napkins. I’ve also been known to wake up in the middle of the night or the wee hours of the morning with creative idea or actual verses in my head that needed to be expressed or else I’d explode. I still experience this to present day, which still makes me laugh and whine a bit due to lack of sleep. Haha.
Some of these newer poems were meant to become songs, and perhaps they still might. The sky is the limit, right? Overall, below you will find parts of me: my life, my pain, my joy, my thoughts, my experiences, and everything in between. These words are my heart bleeding onto paper, fully raw and fully me. May the unraveling continue…
Fly
I am flying,
I am soaring,
I am fully supported,
By the universe an by my beloved.
The depths of this love,
They stretch back entire lifetimes.
Nothing or no one can hold me back anymore.
I am the captain of this ship,
I am the creator of my reality,
And I choose to fly.
To breathe.
To soar.
To be.
I choose to be me.
I refuse to ever shrink back again.
Baby is no longer in the corner,
Not with her gorgeous loverboy,
No...
This girl follows the lead of her beloved,
In this sacred dance of life.
True love winning,
Hearts uniting,
The celebration has begun!
And, oh is it beyond glorious!
The lavished decadence,
Angels swirling all around,
This happily ever after.
And she soars,
She flies,
Her wings dusted off,
She's ready to stay the course,
No giving up now.
It's all coming together,
And she's never felt more alive.
Written on November 28, 2022
© Jessica Louise Newcomb
Good Enough
I just wanted to know I'm good enough.
I just needed to know I mattered.
And I looked to you for external validation,
Only for my heart to end up shattered.
I let your words define my worth.
Your opinions made up my whole existence.
I did all I could to hold your attention,
Just to feel you shove me away in resistance.
So maybe I'll never be good enough.
I'll never rise up to all your standards.
As if my worth is measured by the check of a box,
Just the thought makes me burst out in laughter.
And to think I let you have a hold on me,
As if I never had any value.
I guess the joke's on you now,
Cuz I'm no longer the least bit rattled.
It's been quite the journey to get here,
To release myself from this torturous cage.
To truly believe that not only am I good enough,
But I'm also really fucking brave.
I've healed so many fears & insecurities,
That imprisoned me my entire life.
And luckily I have now come to the conclusion,
That I truly am the prize.
So you can throw all of the sticks & stones,
And try to break these bones,
But you will surely fail to conquer.
For I know that I am good enough.
Always was, always will be,
For now, for always, & forever.
Written on August 9, 2023
© Jessica Louise Newcomb
Game Time
Bright hazel eyes,
Great big smile,
Her soul is on fire.
Big dreams,
Learning to be seen,
She's come out of hiding.
Loud roar,
She's setting the score,
There's no holding back now.
Dim lights,
Big fights,
It's all a thing of the past.
She's moving forward,
Carrying on,
She's breaking through
From the dusk until dawn.
Not giving up,
No longer giving in,
Refusing to entertain defeat once again.
She grounds into her truth
With healing in her heart,
Game time has never tasted sweeter.
Written on July 30, 2023
© Jessica Louise Newcomb
I Hold You in My Heart
Late at night while I'm lying in bed,
Pondering of what could've been.
I see your face before me,
Thoughts constantly racing through my head.
Where did I go wrong?
How can I fix it?
These words have tortured me one too many times.
Perhaps I didn't want to face the truth.
The facade in my mind makes it much easier to hide behind.
I beat myself up for a long time,
Believing that I somehow ruined forever.
My hopes and dreams with you suddenly burned to the ground.
Little did I know that this would all transport me,
From the sense of feeling along and lost,
To becoming suddenly found.
Destined and designed as part of a grander plan greater than myself.
All that's requested of me is releasing my wounds, fears and doubt.
To surrender and trust this story to unfold through breakthrough seems so far away.
To choose me, to choose love,
And to believe in magic and miracles anyway.
So I release all control,
And know not everything is at all as it may seem.
I hold you in my heart,
Knowing that it wasn't all just merely a dream.
Written on August 19, 2023
© Jessica Louise Newcomb
November Blues
A cold and lonely winter in November,
Feels more like the cold air blisters of December.
Here in a million pieces,
My heart lie shattered on the floor.
Still waiting for your explanation,
As I sit here to write my thesis.
Theories of grief, anger and regret,
Expressing sadness and sorrow,
That we ever even met.
I thought I would be growing old with you,
Instead, my faith has left me feeling broken and blue,
Wondering if I'll ever truly get over you.
But I guess this pain might just last forever,
Like a cold and lonely winter in November.
Written on February 4, 2024
© Jessica Louise Newcomb
Illusion
I thought I wanted you,
An illusion so big,
So supposedly 'real' & 'true.'
But in the end,
This longing has only made me look like the biggest fool.
It went on for some time,
This feeling deep.
But I was only sleeping to myself & all who I've wanted to be.
Good try though,
With that cunning smile & those big baby blues.
I am beyond determined to do whatever it takes to get over you.
This raging facade of our destiny,
And perhaps a need to be seen.
Crazy how it all turned out to be nothing more than a dream.
Written on August 16, 2023
© Jessica Louise Newcomb
To the Haters
When I'm told I am loved,
I wanna believe it.
Anything to keep my heart from further bleeding,
Seeping right into my soul to the darkness within.
Casting shadows over my being,
So I can stay hidden.
Never revealing the deepest part of me that are just so painful,
Exposing of my demons is downright so shameful.
Who would love me anyway,
When I'm just a big mess?
They'd drop me after a moment of hearing me
Confess my deepest, darkest secrets
That have lied dormant for years.
Anything to avoid the shedding of more tears.
So when you tell me you love me and then walk away,
Don't be surprised by my reaction,
Because to me,
It's just another round of empty words and broken promises
That I've once again let in
Just to prove that I am simply unlovable once again.
My body is keeping tally
Of every single time it's been betrayed.
Here I am lying on the floor
Screaming and just wanting to escape.
This reality called life,
I just don't wanna believe it.
Is this all my being exists for?
Cuz I'm feeling deceived by the messages
Of being loved and dreams coming true.
When all I ever wanted was nothing but the truth.
Just give it to me straight,
Go to hell with all your lies.
Just leave me here to suffer in my pain and my demise.
I'm told to be grateful
For all that I am.
But how do I do that,
When I feel like I'm drifting away like the sand?
The misery, the agony,
I'm told I deserve it.
If only I'd been holy enough,
I could've just earned it.
This thing they call freedom, happiness and faith,
But here I am on my knees,
Trying to obey.
The aches, the pains, the truth of the matter,
Is I'm no more than the target of all of their chatter.
The bad one, the black sheep,
The scapegoat and trouble.
They live to see each moment,
That I stumble and fall into darkness,
While they think they're the light.
But honestly,
I've never been more disgusted
By the sight of their fake, their facade and everything in between.
I hope one day,
They see the truth,
That I, too, am a divine queen.
But regardless of whar factor,
I'm just gonna keep it real,
Just be who I am,
And pick myself off the floor,
Build up he courage to walk through the door
Of hope and opportunity of all that awaits me.
Living my truth,
And discovering myself more and more on the daily.
I am who I am.
Take me or leave me.
Cuz I'll just be here being me,
And that's okay.
Written on March 10, 2022
© Jessica Louise Newcomb